Like many of us, I’ve spent the majority of the past year and a half within the same four walls. Also, like many of us, I’ve noticed the clutter piling up: papers with no file, CDs that never got shelved, clothes that no longer fit (the “covid 19”, anyone?) and junk I forgot I had, if I knew about it at all.
In the Before Times this was bearable but closed in with it every day became maddening. I’ve got enough mental baggage going into the After Times that I’d like to impose some physical order.
But I just can’t get into the Marie Kondo method.
I took a look at it. A lot of it is sound: be methodical, be ruthless, dispose of anything that doesn’t “speak to the heart”. But I’m not super sentimental, so short of family photos or things I have a long history with very little speaks to my heart.
Besides, she thinks you should only have 30 books. And, I mean, to each their own, but… yeah, I just can’t smoke what she’s smoking.
The clutter does sing to me though, always the same song by the Clash:
Should I stay or should I go?
So I putter around the house picking things up humming the tune to myself and making decisions. Not all of the lyrics work, but enough do:
If you say that you are mine
I’ll be here ’till the end of time
And it will, it really fucking will, until 10 years and 3 houses later this thing is still in your closet or basement and you don’t know where you got it, or why.
If I go, there will be trouble
What if I need it and don’t have it?
What if it is something so utterly unique it is literally irreplaceable?
What if it has enormous sentimental value?
And if I stay it will be double
Where do I put this?
How many inches of shelf space do I sacrifice if I hang onto it?
If I can’t store it, is it an eyesore?
Does it even work anymore?
This indecision’s bugging me
Like you wouldn’t believe.
If you don’t want me, set me free
Because someone else might want this. To the donation box then…
Exactly whom I’m supposed to be
Did this at any point represent who I am as a person, or anything I’m interested in?
Don’t you know which clothes even fit me?
Does this fit? Did it ever? Might it again? Do I care?
So ya gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
So I’ve already donated a few boxes of clothes (and yes, books) but this is ongoing.
I’m going to try to revive this blog as I dig myself out of this real and metaphorical mess. What do y’all want to read about? I’ve got an HNS conference review in the works but am otherwise straining for subject matter.
And how are the rest of you re-entering the world?